Left v. Right

It is amazing how the left and right cannot communicate. I am on the left, so my bias is against the right. But I have much insight into the right: I grew up in a conservative home and used to consider myself conservative. Until the foibles of Bush Sr. And then never again. I admit that I think the left tends to attract the "thinkers." Those that can think out a problem and arrive at an answer. The right tends to regurgitate old, tired canned responses that they learned from their parents. Or learned from someone and have never bothered to do a reality check sense. Brutal? Yes, I probably am. But I have lived in their territory, have thought their thoughts, and now reject it. The right's worst sin? Failing to see how any of theirs are wrong or to blame for anything. For when they claim such a ridiculous stance, they lose all credibility.

When Tragedy Strikes

This afternoon I was so tired I couldn't move. The kind of tired you feel when you are getting sick. The kind of tired, with law school finals coming up, that I can't afford. I tried to rack my brain about what was causing this fatigue. Maybe it was the stress of school, the upcoming finals, the lack of sleep. But that kind of thing has been hanging over me for four years, and I rarely feel this tired.

Maybe it is because of the tragedy that has struck one of my friends. Her only child committed suicide last week. No apparent warning, no note. So shocking. I went to the service, which was very nice. There was visible upset on some faces, and a nervousness on others. It is just so surreal. I can't imagine being in his parent's shoes. How would you go on? How could you not guilt yourself somehow? What else could you have done. Maybe there is nothing that could have been done. A lot of people are messed up and they don't commit suicide. Maybe he was just going to do it for sure--and that is why he didn't talk about it. You just wonder what could have been so bad. And you wonder how his parents are going to go on. But go on they must.

Women's Inroads--Some Are Fairly Recent

Things seem pretty fair and equal between the sexes these days, so sometimes remembering the history of the women's movement can be startling. As in how recent some of these gains are. Like for instance, women's admittance to all men clubs. I am a member of Rotary and joined in 1999. I was reading the rotarian magazine today and had no idea that women were not admitted until 1987. I guess I should have known this, but somehow it escaped me. So that means a mere 12 years before I joined, I could not have joined. How wierd is that? And I can't see any reason that our club or any club would be any better if it were all male. It is still predominantly male and we need more women, but the presence of women makes it a better club. So I am glad women are able to join. They should have been allowed to a lot earlier.

Papal Visit Moving

I am not overly religious and I am not Catholic (even though my ancestors were.) But I woke up this morning with the TV on showing the Pope's visit to St. Patrick's in NYC. It brought tears to my eyes. I don't know if it is my Catholic ancestry speaking to me, or just that I am tired from school. I almost turned the TV off and went back to sleep, but I think I will watch. Ever since I missed Charles and Diana's wedding on TV (I thought it was too stupid to get up to watch) I have been sorry about that and told myself I would watch big happenings like this. The wedding and the visit are really different but are both news in a certain way. I'll keep it on and study. And maybe get some more sleep later.

February Bar Results

The February Bar results were released today. I didn't know that many people from the class ahead of me, but I logged on to the Bar Examiners' website anyway to look at the list. If you passed the bar, your name is on the list; if your name isn't there, you didn't pass. I scrolled down and only saw one name I recognized. I didn't see the names of two people who graduated from my school last year whom I were taking the test. That is very sad, as that means that is the second time they have not passed the bar since last May. That would be hard to swallow. Our time is coming up soon. The clock is ticking down. The wierd thing is, I am not that nervous yet. What I am worried about are my finals. I am so far behind, and time is running out.

That Dreaded Bar Application

I passed another milestone today on my way to (hopefully) a law career. I handed in my bar application. Yes, I handed it on deadline day. I could have mailed it--it just had to be postmarked by today. But I decided to personally take it there. After all, I drove my law school application to the school on the day it was due, because I didn't have time to mail it. So why change my tactic now? It worked before; maybe it will work again. I am glad I delivered it. The woman at the desk took a look at it and said it looked good and that everything seemed in order. She suggested I send in one other item. I am glad, as this has relieved my mind. The board of law examiners still has to look at it, but if she thinks it looks good, it may be OK. After all, she has seen a lot of applications. It is a little unnerving however when you are being investigated for your character and fitness for law practice. I feel almost like I am being investigated for the FBI or the state department. It is just another part of the hurry up and wait in this process.

Count Down to Graduation--Last Time to Recite in Class

I passed another milestone tonight on the way to graduation. I had to "recite" for the last time. It is hard to put into words what that means. Speaking in class goes all the way back to first year, when one of our teachers still used the Socratic method to terrorize us. (It was scary, but admittedly energizing in some odd way.) I wasn't sure, however, I was hearing anything in his class--I was always skimming the case ahead trying to review the facts in the event he called on me to brief it. It was an unnerving experience. It was never that bad again in any course. But even if you had been assigned a case to talk about, and you knew when you had to deliver it, it was still unnerving. You never have enough time to read everything you need to read, or to uncover every fact, or point of law. You are never sure you aren't going to look dumb. Or unprepared. Both are death. I had volunteered to give a presentation tonight for extra credit. I had a boring subject to talk about and I feel like I bored the class with it. But hey! It is five extra credit points that I need, and it signaled a rite of passage. The end of classroom talking.

Extreme Stress at Work

I am on edge these days, with my law school schedule on overdrive, preparing for my recent oral appellate argument, taking the early bird PMBR review, not getting my regular studying done, and trying to get out of town this weekend. What I don't need is someone being hateful to me, and especially being hateful to me for no reason. My relative boss has always been a mystery to me. He either has a screw loose or just doesn't care at all about other people's feelings, and I have never known which it is. He came out to me today and asked a normal question in a hateful voice. What is his problem? I don't know but I am sick of it. I don't know whether he knows his tone is so inappropriate, but it is just ridiculous. I don't want to let him make me sick. He needs to get over himself.

Moot Court Blues--Finale

Well, my appeals argument is over. And it went well. Much better than I thought it would. At the time of my last post, I was worried. Worried that I didn't know the facts and the law well enough. That I wouldn't have time to get up to speed. That I wouldn't look convincing in my arguments. That I would fall apart during questioning. We had to make our appeals in front of a panel of three lawyer judges, and who wants to look bad in that situation?

I worried because I was exhausted, and rather than staying up late every night last week to work on it, I kept falling asleep early. I needed to memorize my argument, and there was no time. On top of that, I was going to a concert the night before my argument. WTF?

But I pulled it off. I am a good memorizer, which is good. When I went to bed the night before, I felt fairly confident I could recite most of my argument without reading it, which is a big no-no.

Luck was with me. I woke up the morning of my oral argument and I was not nervous. I WAS NOT NERVOUS. Unbelievable! I guess I felt like this was my best effort under the circumstances (you could however argue about the circumstances) so my attitude was take it or leave it.

In front of the judges, I held my own. I could state the facts without looking at my paper. I didn't falter. They started asking me questions, and I knew my case well enough to answer them (at least most of the questions. ) Their questions highlight pretty quickly whether you are prepared or not. I actually got into the conversation with the judges and didn't even hear them call time.

I could have done better of course, but I did OK. And OK feels darn good.

Later, some other people told me I did well. (Some others did falter up there.) We still lost our case because we had bad facts. The teacher said so. The case was designed for us to lose. But he wanted us to experience what it is like to have a case with bad facts. Bad facts make bad law, they always say.

I did not want to be the one from our team doing the oral argument. But I was the only one who could do it due to time constraints. The interesting thing is I kind of liked appealing the case. I didn't mind being in front of the judges. It didn't scare me. And that is good.

Moot Court Blues--Episode 10

I am going down. I have to give my team's appellate oral arguments in the next few days, and I am not very prepared. I am somewhat prepared, but not as much as I need. This is in front of a three-judge panel, and I hear it is brutal. The other class had their arguments last week, and the judges raked everyone over. The sad part is I don't have enough time to prepare. But I will have to do my best.