It's Been One of Those Days

I had today off from work, and it should have been a good day. But instead I felt like hell most of the day.

Why? Maybe it is that I am just exhausted. I only got about 4 hours of sleep again last night. Maybe that is the root of the problem. I hope it is--that would be an easy answer.

I have been alternatively sad and edgy all day. I was signed up to an all day research project--I had to be downtown by 7 a.m., a whole hour earlier than I normally have to be at work. I was excited about being part of a focus group, but then I got down there and was informed the computer didn't choose me. They sent me home with $50. I was glad to have the $50, but I felt like I had been rejected. I was dejected. How dumb is that?

Rather than go back to work, I decided to catch up in one of my law classes that I am really behind in. I had a pretty good day doing that, but all day I felt lonely, anxious, you name it, that I would never find love. What is the deal with that?

I was reading my statute book, and it was interesting to a point. But the problem with statutes is that the comments sections go on forever. The comments and notes are helpful to understanding the statutes, but they just go on and on.......

Basic bottom line is that I just felt very, very alone all day, which is wierd. I really wanted to enjoy my day off and make it productive. OK, it was productive, but my feelings were out of control.

On top of that tonight, I have felt sad. I never watch Fox News, but I was watching Bill O'Reilly tonight and saw the report about the 8 year old boy in Vancouver WA, who called 911 about his mother who was drunk and tryng to drive the car. The mother kept hitting the boy's hands so he wouldn't be able to talk on the phone, but he was able to get his message through and the police arrested his mother. He and his sibling are now staying with a family friend. How distressing it was to hear this story. That brave, poor little boy. I had some upheaval in my childhood--not like this--and know how scary and upsetting it can be when parents get mad and selfish and irrational. He is between a rock and a hard place--his mother has been arrested, and he may have to go into foster care. It just makes me want to cry.