When Tragedy Strikes

This afternoon I was so tired I couldn't move. The kind of tired you feel when you are getting sick. The kind of tired, with law school finals coming up, that I can't afford. I tried to rack my brain about what was causing this fatigue. Maybe it was the stress of school, the upcoming finals, the lack of sleep. But that kind of thing has been hanging over me for four years, and I rarely feel this tired.

Maybe it is because of the tragedy that has struck one of my friends. Her only child committed suicide last week. No apparent warning, no note. So shocking. I went to the service, which was very nice. There was visible upset on some faces, and a nervousness on others. It is just so surreal. I can't imagine being in his parent's shoes. How would you go on? How could you not guilt yourself somehow? What else could you have done. Maybe there is nothing that could have been done. A lot of people are messed up and they don't commit suicide. Maybe he was just going to do it for sure--and that is why he didn't talk about it. You just wonder what could have been so bad. And you wonder how his parents are going to go on. But go on they must.